I didn’t watch the whole video not gonna lie. Sorry about that, maybe the clip I saw wasn’t the whole thing, because I missed all that.

Im glad you’re preparing for your loneliness. The men of my father’s gen didn’t seem as prepared as you. I didn’t know being kind to my love was “a feelings game”. We don’t see it that way, but least you know who you are, that’s good.

Have a good day and best of luck to you in your endeavors.

Edit, watched the whole clip. I thought to review it yesterday and didn’t, my bad honestly, I wish I had. I see what you mean now. I totally missed the wife’s role when I barely saw it months ago. Saw where he says, okay I’m done.

Remembering why I dismissed the video, and many videos- because who goes to check on their partner with their phone in hand like that? What type of person, sees their husband feeling emotional and drags out their phone to record them? Its weird. The whole thing is fucking wierd to me. If my husband came out to me, phone in my face, my first address before speaking would be why are you recoding me? Stop.

I don’t know these people, and I am certainly not about to assign a generalization to society based off these two folks encounter. She is being dismissive in a moment he is being introspective. How many times have generders been reversed, or the same as eachother, where one person is being insightful/ introspective, and another human comes along to rag on them about it? We also don’t know what these two history is, nor do I care. Time fascinates me, especially it’s passage, 40 years is a long time, I get the sentiment, which is why I only remembered his voice not hers when recalling my memory of the video.

Im not going to base my own outlook on life on some person not understanding the sentiment, she was recording, why was she recording? She clearly had the joke in her head already, it would not have mattered what he said, she was already planning to say that it seems. The type of person who records/uploads videos of their family so often if fills a data center probably doesn’t have much introspection themselves. Those types I’m not friends with. It’s so weird. The dude was totally having a moment, and a sweet one at that, and yeah, she turns it to a joke. “Aww can’t you take a joke?” I can hear the voices from people who have said this to me. This isn’t some isolated incident- like, raise your hand if youve had a sentimental moment interrupted by someone being rude for laughs.

Anyway, agree with you about the video, still hold a different outlook on finding and holding love.

Wishing you the best man, I’ll give the next dog I meet extra pets for being a good boy in your honor.

Our first date was a walk in the park because we couldn’t decide. We walked for hours. I felt safe enough to even go back to his spot after where we smoked cannabis and talked still, for many more hours. Our first date was like 6 hours long and cost nothing but a bit of gas for the drive.

The spool of wire guy, is that the fella who’s sitting outside reminiscing when he first bought that giant spool of wire and now it was gone? A very sweet, sentimental moment for thst guy.

Not gonna lie, some women are like that I’ve heard. I’ve never been friends with those types. Shallow people gonna shallow. Before I met my husband, most commonly my first dates were usually bar dates, where I would pay my own drink, or be turned down when I went to pay for it. I’ll insist to pay, but if they insist again to pay, I’d let them, and in response to a free drink, I’d tip the server that extra instead. That was my personal code.

Of course, dating online from me started 15 years ago, and ended 7 years ago when I met my love. What’s it like today? I don’t know. If I didn’t have my husband I know I wouldn’t go back to an app today everything humans touch has been heavily monetized, if even before it was only lightly monetized. I always used Plenty of Fish, idk if that matters.

It’s not good to generalize men, nor is is good to generalize women. You end up boxing yourself in. Better to treat each person you meet with no expectations, and you’ll never be disappointed. I’ve had some guys I’ve dated do really shitty things. There are guys who are willing to talk to you everyday for six weeks, spend two weeks more to hit the three date marker, sleep together, and then- they ghost. Some men will put two months of effort in to get laid, then ghost. It hurts a lot, especially when you think you have connection.

I never let it make me resentful towards all men, because I’ve also dated total sweethearts, they’re out there. I found one. Im lucky.

Keep hope, and maybe you will too. I truly believe I was able to score such a baddie (who btw at the time had the same income as I did) because for the year and a half leading up to him I did a lot of self work. Not working out, but addressing my flaws, my judgements, my quick temper. Stress management was what I needed most. Just at the moment I felt nearly whole as a single, I met my husband.

I serve him coffee in the morning, not because he expects it, in fact if I ask, he’ll say “no I’m going to get up in a second”, so I don’t ask, I just bring him one. I do it because for one, I like doing acts of service, it’s self serving as it makes me feel like im being helpful, and in return I feel good. It’s totally selfish first because “he’ll think I’m sweet and appreciate it if I do this for him”. The “aw babes you didn’t have to” gives me dopamine like nothing else. He always denies my help, so I deny asking and just find ways I can. It doesn’t go unappreciated, he is always greatful, and if I bring him coffee four days in a row, and on the fifth day don’t, he doesn’t even mention it, he’ll get up, kiss me and ask if I want Dunkin. He supports himself without complaint, and is always appreciative. My doing kind things is “extra” for him, and I feel the same. (Lol edit: I could absolutely describe my husband and strong and independent)

I’ve dated men who you bring coffee for four days, and not on the fifth, they’ve now expected my service, and complain. Some will even poke, “why didn’t you bring me coffee today? Are you mad? Did I do something?” And it would turn to a fight. Those men, are not the type I entertain much longer. As soon as I don’t feel appreciated and like I’ve expectations not my own, placed on me by someone else, I am out.

But second, my husband deserves it. Because whether I look good or like shit, whether I bust ass and handle business, or I lay on the couch frozen depressed, he still loves me the same. He’s earned my service over and over and over again, just by being a kind and helpful human to me over the years. So I return the kindness with more.

And to be honest, I don’t always know how to support him on depressed days. I don’t think he knows what to do for me either, but we both respond to each other’s moments with thst kindness. I’ll make a special dessert for him, or run an errand he doesn’t want to run that day. I make myself available if he wants to talk, He does similar for me. I annoy him sometimes with “is there anything I can do for you to help?” But I still ask, and give him love when he says no or idk. Sometimes what he needs is space, (hey me too) and we do that for eachother.

Give kindness and you get it back. It’s so silly but it’s how I’ve lived. It hasn’t shielded me from pain, but it sure does make more opportunity for kind moments in life. If you’re looking for a fight, you will find one. If your looking to spread kindness, you’ll find that returned too.

Best of luck out there, I know it’s tough. I hope you find someone, even if it’s a dog or a friend or a life partner, that shows you the kindness your heart needs.

Edit: it’s so corny, and I doubt you’ll watch it. But as a teenager I watched the movie “Under the Tuscan Sun”. Its a cheesy film, but with a really sweet message.

The woman is looking for love, and finds it, but not in the way she expected, it’s very sweet and I think helped me personally, in those formative years to drop expectations or at least, allow room for them to adjust. If you’re feeling lonely, no one will know you watched an old chick movie, and it might help you feel better to look at love differently as the woman is faced to in the movie. No one has to know you watched it lol

Lol ok

Maybe for you . …

In no world will anyone convince me to share my person, to whom I don’t own.

I think its fair to say, myself included, many women want to date older men, not 20 years older, but at least a few. For me it was like 1-4 years older is good for me.

Honestly when dating, I found better results not worrying so much about age, but rather where their standing was within siblings and family.

As in, I am the eldest child, and my best relationships are with other eldest (or only) children. When I would date the youngest of a family, the dynamic was so different, and I could tell he was babied by his mom growing up, I unconsciously had less respect for him. I broke up with him when I realized it consciously. He ended up marrying a nice girl years later, I learned she’s also the youngest in her family, they match.

I’m being so unserious, and I’ve had relationships not work out with other eldest sibling people, but it’s something I noticed when I was dating. I married an eldest child, and we’re peas in a fucking pod. It probably has something to do with they way our world view forms growing up in our familial hierarchy.

My husband is 38, we’re eachothers best friend. Feeling alone even in company is a sign of depression, which we both have, and both have had, since we were children.

I’m glad to be there for him on his off days, and he’s there for me in mine. That’s what it’s about no? He doesn’t see me as a “dick servicer” though, so maybe that’s the difference.

I’m sorry you so feel alone no matter what though, must be difficult getting through some days

I met my husband on Plenty of Fish 7/8 years ago. This baffles me, they don’t let you type your own content to show your personality? How are you supposed to get a feel for someone then?

I believe the two reasons maga gained popularity among the average American are both from fear/hate of people from other cultures(brown folks), as the country I know is still heavily segregated by zip code in most places. And, what really worked well, because anyone can participate, the fear/hate of trans and other lgbtq folks.

The democrats, I’m convinced today are in fact controlled opposition. Who thought pushing… forcing language like latinx without popular support from the people the name it represents? It was shoved in folks faces, and they were told to support it or they were a bad person. You can’t do that without extensive discussion and then having popular support to change it. Niether were done.

The same thing is happening with trans people in sports. There wasn’t any discussion about it before it was allowed, no one was prepared. Then, suddenly, people who have never met a trans person in their life, started seeing news headlines about it. There are born women, who are uncomfortable with this, whether or not they are anti trans or an ally, it doesn’t matter, because I guarantee you both exist, and they say they are uncomfortable with it. It was another decision that was made without disscussion from the group they represent. Why don’t afab women’s voices matter in this case? Again, now this pro trans group is telling you are a bad person for not wanting transfolk in sports, even just questioning it, even if otherwise you’d be an ally.

Dem’s pushed this stuff, without giving time for culural shift and discussion and imput from the people it would affect, and to make it worse if you voiced an opinion or question it online, even in an honest way, you would be instantly dogpiled and flamed.

I think every republican ad I saw up to the election mentioned trans people. There are tons of folks who have never met a trans person, have no idea what the process is like, leaving a lot of room for imagination. They went hard with the fear in those advertisements, they did a great job in working a mountain out of a molehill. Add in that everyone now has the internet in our pocket, some isolated communities are being exposed to things they otherwise wouldn’t have ever seen, driving the fear of the unknown.

Disclaimer I’m pro doing whatever you like for yourself, so long as it hurts no one else, and respects the people around you. Just know it’s stated. I tend to think in terms of sociology, and this is simply my observation.

I don’t think hobbes here has any integrity with this comment I’ve responded to, but I do think I’ve a small grasp on how they got there.

Also, anyone truly convicted of pedophilia shoud spend the rest of thier life in agony. They should not be granted death unless it’s from their victims wishes, and they should live in agony for as long as they breathe. I don’t care what faction you represent, messing with children is the lowest crime anyone can do and is not punished harshly enough.

Massive trucks? They need those trucks for truck stuff, like this giant dilhole parking with his wife to go to Aldi today. Not even a flag on the end of that ladder, it filled a whole spot by itself.

My couch wouldn’t fit in that bed, and every giant truck I see is sparkling shiny and looks like it hasn’t done a day of hard labor, much like the drivers.

There was a drug house across the street from me once. You’d see people in and out all day/night. One perfect sunday morning, I heard a commotion. Some dude was pissed the dealer stole his money and was trying to bang the door down. It goes on for a bit, until I see the dealer come out the back with a baseball bat, the guy ran off the property to where is car is parked, and called the police on him lmao they called the police on themselves.

Both were arrested. And the drug house was done for, thank goodness. Wildly entertaining.

One of my worst apartment had bedbugs. Even with my best efforts, they moved with us. Was finally able to detroy them at the second place, but the livingroom (only room with carpet) had to stay empty for 5 months. I was afraid to even put a couch in there.

Still the worst place for me was a one bedroom apartment on the first floor in the sticks. Small little place in New England. The basement had no insulation, broken window, and access for mice. So many mice, on top of that there was a massive draft in the winter. My power outlets gave off a cold draft. How does a power outlet have cold air come through it? It was $600/month for electric heat, keeping my thermostat at 58. Im still, ten years later, in debt from three winters there. The last summer I was there, the septic backed up into the dooryard. It smelled so bad. The landlord kept trying to bandaid every issue. Until finally she paid for the building to get on sewer, and sold the place as a money pit.

She had the nerve to get mad at me after I moved out because when she pulled up the carpet it was gross under it. That carpet was not new when I moved in. I am so clean, I get massive anxiety if my place is not clean, so I’m anal about it. It was just me and a baby who lived there, like- ugh. Stupid bitch landlord, inherited the place from her father and was in over her head.

I’ve tried the licorice thats made with ammonium chloride.

I love love love, licorice. Theres a store by me that often carries international candies and goods. I saw salty licorice there, and it sounded good, so I bought a little bag of the stuff made in one of the nordic countries, it was a bit ago, I don’t remember which one.

Driving home with a piece in my mouth and I taste it. Why do I taste cat piss? Wtf? My face sours, and ammonia comes to mind. My nose flairs, I spit it out. I get home and search up ammonium chloride, which I found on the package lable. I’m horrified what I find. It is processed with ammonia. WTF

Salty licorice might be good, but y’all can keep the ammonium chloride stuff, I’m good. Taste like cat piss smells

I’m allergic the something they put in mass produced milk chocolate over here I think. Idk what it is, I’ve no allergies I know of. But if I have a Hershey Kiss, my throat burns a little after, feels painful.

This doesnt happen when I have good dark chocolate, it’s only the garbage mass produced chocolate. US chocolate wasn’t always this shitty, but it sure as fuck is now. I doubt there is much actual cocoa in it these days

I had the original Ninja Turtles movie on VHS. The one where the kids smoke in many scenes.

If you try and stream the film today, they cut out some of the kid smoking scenes. I wish I still had that VHS. I watched that movie a hundred times growing up

Which is probably like $100 to him

This is fucking hilarious

I’m still new to all this, but I was on a hexbear just now reading an article I had searched. The first comment I saw was just talking trash about elmo musty. Nothing bad, pretty tame.

The comment under it from an actual hexbear user said “we don’t use ablelist language here”. I re read the comment. Was it the word dumbass? It was the only “namecalling” word in the comment.

Reminded me of a time I got banned from a subreddit for saying “the housing market is insane right now” in one of these so called inclusive places, as insane is apparently ableist, and you know, not just an adjective describing something incomprehensible to a wild degree, which can have both negative and positive connotations.

Okay there bud… It’s good to learn the places to avoid.

I keep writing my senators. One senator I voted for under the Working Families’ Party (his name next to both WFP and Dem). The Second Senator is an old fart who I wanted to look up to, but continues to enable the R party as a Dem.

I write them often, and a few days ago, wrote the old fart to let him know his actions directly are why I just changed my voter registration to independent. Im no longer registered Democrat. I was there for Bernie, and nothing good has come of anything over my 10 years as a Dem. I write the WFP senator to remind him I voted for him under that party name.

Will it do anything? I don’t know, but I hope everyone is writing thier senators and reps at least bi weekly. Its so easy to do today, you dont even need a stamp!