Pandantic [they/them]

Opening up your relationship to another is tricky - you have to have immense trust in all involved. Do you trust that this guy isn’t just trying to get your wife? Do you trust that your wife isn’t just trying to get another man in the bed or transitioning over to him? Do you trust yourself to not be jealous when he takes her to bed (or goes on a one-on-one date)? If any of these questions gave you a little twinge of sick in your gut, that means you need to explore that - is it something you can overcome with conversations and agreed limits or is it too deep?

I was in a triad and it took some work to get over my jealousy (which I had in all my previous relationships and was not healthy anyway). However, it was a really rewarding experience - I had a same-gender partner to do things with, being with two people in bed is fun, and when things went bad with one partner, I had another one to emotionally support me and help me work through it before having a conversation with the other.

However, again, you have to trust that everyone has the others’ best interests at heart because there’s definitely the potential for one to try and turn the other against you if they aren’t trustworthy.

Good luck!

So, I will not be updating my phrasebook for correctness

Yeah, right. You’re a teacher, aren’t you?