Patterns of behavior typically tied to one sex or the other. Like doing mating dances or building nests.

Throw Brittney a bone

You understood what he meant. Ergo, he was correct.

Language is just a means of conveying your thoughts into someone else’s head. Grammar is a set of guidelines to ease that process. So if you picked up what he was putting down, his sentence was valid.

Na mean?

First free busses, now this?!?

There’s no shame in flaunting your hoodickie

Just scribble “fuck you it’s two dollars” on a napkin and scan that in.

You should try mayo pops or ranch pops. They’re less chunky.

You just need to keep it clean and occasionally trim the bushes. Plus, that’ll make the hose look bigger.

I now have a pint of what seems to be room temperature river water. What’s next?

100% because it is a fire wall

I don’t know what you’re talking about, it would be hell to run cat6 through that. I’d definitely route around it and put the firewall in an adjacent room.

The wall material is so hard you’d think it was meant to stop an actual fire.

Allergists can work magic now with micro dosing. My kid’s peanut allergy is just gone.

If you have the means and the desire, it’s called LDA (low dose allergen) therapy. It’s sometimes also called SLIT (sub-lingual immuno therapy). There’s probably differences. I’m not a doctor.

Relax. It’s not that serious.

You said soda stream, so I assumed soda stream. Big whoops on my part.

If you care about things like Coke being evil, then you should care about things like money flowing into countries whose governments are evil and benefit from that flow via export taxes.

Sodastream is an Israeli company

Whenever someone says “female” but doesn’t specify the species, I assume they aren’t picky about it.

It’s not the sperm that’s the issue. It’s the frustration. That builds up quite a bit more

Best buy takes electronics recycling.

raid a library and take a book without signing it out

Calm down there, Satan.

What? I don’t see any cops

That’s dark. It reminds me of a story.

A little old lady goes for a stroll in the park, when she sees a man sitting on a bench wearing a trench coat. As she walks closer, she realises he isn’t wearing anything else. She sits next to him and after a minute, he turns to her and asks, “Would you like to touch my penis?”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” she says. “I’m a widow and I haven’t touched one in years.”

“Go on,” he says. “It’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget.”

So she does. And every day for the next few months, she goes to the park and enjoys her encounter with the man.

One day, he isn’t at their regular meeting spot.

“Oh, well he was old,” she says to herself, thinking he’s died. But after a few minutes, she sees him on another bench with another little old woman.

“You bastard,” she says. “You’re cheating on me! What’s she got that I don’t?”

“Parkinson’s,” he replied.

Feminism out of control. Women don’t enjoy sex. That’s a myth. If female orgasms existed my wife would have had one by the third of the five pumps I give her.