“I think I should ask a professional their opinion, you clipboard on an ass”
In my humble opinion, unless someone comes up with an idea all by themselves, there is no way they will take my advice on anything.
I like to tell people anyways. Then I ask them what they think I’m going to say. Then they tell me what they think I’m going to say unprompted
And eventually, they’re correct
@PugJesus I went to therapy after my abusive relationship in my 20s. The therapist sat in a chair, SMOKING A PIPE while drawing doodles, and every time I asked “what do you think?” he answered “what do you think?” as if he was a bird repeating what I said.
After a while I lost all respect for therapists, and went and talked to my friends instead. That was much more helpful.
That doesn’t sound like a good therapist.
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@TheRealKuni No, he wasn’t. :-)
Good therapists have more than three or twelve critical thinking questions. Crumblaying is a great way to get the horse to water with a thirst. Some people born to a silver spoon will get an easy degree in a vulnerably subjective field and waste space and time. Sorry about the humans.
“What should I do?”
“What do you think you should do?”
“I think I should ask my therapist for advice on what I should do.”
“And why do you think that is?”
Because I’m paying them hundreds of dollars per hour for their advice
The point is that people RARELY take the advice of others.
Therapists try to get out to realize what you should do by and also try to get you to think that it was your idea.
There are unfortunately, some not very good therapists out there.
Why do you think that’s what you’re paying for?
“And how does that make you feel?”
Stop asking rapists for advice!
But…but…but…
How else should I learn how to do it correctly?
At least in my professional experience, it really doesn’t fucking matter if I tell you what to do… You’re probably going to just keep doing the same shit anyway. In fact, most of the time if I actually tell my clients what they should do, they’ll just think I’m an asshole. Not a jaded response, by the way, just 11 years of experience, doing it my way and watching others do it wrong over and over.
I deal with people with severe behavioral disorders. They know what they’re doing and they know what they’re supposed to do, but impulse almost always wins over reasoning. If I want someone to change, my ultimate goal is to make them come to a realization and to feel like they did so on their own. Then I want them to want to tell me about it. So then, when they come so me and tell me something, I can listen and give feedback based on our previous talks to reinforce what they did. Hopefully, the next time that issue comes up, they can then use that to make the right decision again.
The reason it’s done this way is because someday, I’m not going to be around to tell you what to do, so you need to be able to figure it out on your own. That’s my job. I can give you the tools to change. I can kinda tell you how to use them, but I can’t force change on you any more than I can live your life for you.
Think God in Futurama.
Good explanation. Also on brand for a therapist to compare themselves to God.
Otoh, I feel like therapy would be a lot more helpful for many people if the therapist just said “I’m not going to answer those questions for you because I know you’ll never affect meaningful change in your life from an answer that someone else gives you. I’m just here to prod you into figuring out your own solution, whatever that happens to be.”
Have you watched Shrinking? I know it’s not a particularly ethical representation of therapy, but I’ve been curious to hear a therapist’s opinion of it as escapism.
I haven’t. I heard about it, but I don’t have Apple+. I saw so many red flags just looking at the plot synopses for the first season that I’m kinda curious to see how they handle transference and projection with all the ethics violations and boundary breaking.
Well, the post was just a joke, but that sounds reasonable.
Oh I know, and it’s funny as hell even from my end because it’s so very true. I would 100% use a throwback just like that!
I’ve just known a lot of folks out there who were soured on therapy, even hostile about it, that I felt it might help to kinda explain why one might use it.
Appreciate your chiming in. I always squirm a little at jokes that imply that therapy is useless. Even if they’re funny, it’s a difficult topic and it’s sad to think it’s reinforcing that mindset for someone who actually needs help.
Sooo therapists can’t just do a magical reconstruction, leaving out trauma and shit?
Why can’t shit be easy just once :(
How much trauma do you want me to leave out? Because shit gets easier the more I’m allowed to hurt you.
yes.
Humans are not easy :/
Unless it’s your mum
@PugJesus Also the secret to leadership.
They know it‘s no use telling you all the things you know yourself deep down. No good advice will ever be anywhere near as effective as an idea from your own mind. And they‘re really trying to massage your brain towards having that idea. I think I got that from Inception and even though the older I get the more I think Nolan is kind of a hack, it‘s a good practice. Or at least I think so. I‘m no therapist after all.
Love the meme though. I get the frustration from just not moving forward but the best therapist I have ever had did just listen for about 90% of the time and Shared his own life experience for the other 10%. He was an older guy and he was absolutely fantastic.
It’s because they are there to act as a sounding board, not to take away executive power from your mind. You need to come to your own conclusions in life, in order to have peace.
So true. I go to one but he at least gives us insight.
