“Now, who wants pets?”

Or a unibrow.

Rrrrawwr.

I won’t pretend that some negative stereotypes about bisexuals don’t originate from broken-hearted unisexual folks’ lived experience (which is still no excuse to defame all bisexuals), but a lot – A LOT – of bisexual stereotypes and erasure comes from old-fashioned homophobia.

Position? But I wanted to measure velocity tonight!

There’s bunch of stereotypes surrounding bisexuals. For example, that bisexuality doesn’t exist – like that they’re actually gay, but won’t admit it, or it’s a stepping-stone to being gay. Or that they’re actually straight but just fucking with lesbians and won’t ever commit, or that they’re promiscuous and will always cheat. Or, that once they do settle down it’ll always be with an opposite-gender partner. Or that they’re cowards who’ll mask their queerness instead of supporting the LGBTQA+ community, since they can always pretend to be straight… and so much more! It fucking sucks!

aka the Glock 69

🎶 I die you die 🎶

And if you ask him what Santa Claus does after he comes down the chimney?

“He’ll eat your children.”

Listen, I have a plan to rescue those cookies and give them a new home.

What? Bad chemicals no hurt, him brain fine 🤪

Oh wait, they were serious?!

If there’s a gathering solely comprised of lady hotdogs, would it still be referred to as a sausage party? 🤔

Need a battery?

Potato battery.

“Okay, so I believed the authoritarian liar – but I was soooooooo mad! I literally had no choice!”

Ah, but withholding my vote means my soul is pure and I don’t own these consequences!

YOU.

I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR.